Friday night out? No thanks, none for me....

It's a Friday night - my FOURTH weekend with the kids. One of the perks I had been looking forward to when my husband and I seperated was the thought of some free weekends - for girl time or being lazy or rediculously long bubble baths or chores or......eventually a date or two....but that doesn't seem to be the case. I keep ending up with the kids.  It makes me mad - especially knowing that the ex is going out almost every night.  And then I feel guilty about being mad about having time with my kids because I really do like being with them. And then I get three seperate invites to go out and have to decline them all and I'm mad again - but madder this time because if he just had them when he was suppose to I wouldn't feel bad about being mad about having my kids with me.  I'm trying to let it go. I really am but it is hard when his actions have such obvious consequenses.  I keep getting advice like "this is your time" and "now you can do what YOU want" and "go out! have fun! make sure you aren't just sitting at home!!!"  Do none of these well meaning people realize that I HAVE KIDS?!?!?!    OK, we are talking about normal people here, who, probably assume that like normal people would my ex and I are trading off weekends.  But my ex isn't normal (hince the "ex" part of this).  He is trying to make me pay for leaving him. Well, right now, at 11:40 on a Friday night, it feels like I am paying for leaving him.